In Matthew’s account of the birth of Jesus, Joseph is the focus of attention and rightly so. For in many ways Joseph was the real hero of the Christmas story. He stood by Mary when most men would have sent their wives packing. Yet it is Mary who gets all the limelight. In most paintings of the nativity, all the emphasis is on Mary and baby Jesus. Joseph, if he features at all, stands in the background. But Joseph was a very necessary figure, not only for the Christmas story but to the later development of the child Jesus. In many ways Joseph is a model husband and father.
In the first place, Joseph stood by Mary. Although the couple were not living together, they had entered into a binding contract before witnesses, which could be terminated only be death or by divorce. Joseph must have found it incredibly difficult when Mary became pregnant. It was not surprising that he considered divorcing her. He was only doing what any other right-thinking Jewish man would have done. His parents and his friends – and no doubt, Mary’s parents and her friends – would have expected him to take any other course. But God intervened and through a dream told him to “take Mary” (Matthew 1.20) as his wife. In what must have been an extremely trying and emotionally fraught situation, Joseph had the courage and strength of character to take the dream seriously. For God’s sake he was willing to go against the stream.
Secondly, Joseph proved a true father, even though he may not have sired Jesus. For had Joseph not been a good father, then almost certainly Jesus would never have taught his disciples to begin the Lord’s Prayer with the words “Our Father in heaven” (Matthew 6.13); let alone Jesus daring to call God abba (Mark 14.36). It was surely his own positive experience of having Joseph for a father that Jesus once told a group of fathers: “If you… know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7.11). That fact is that a man has not fulfilled his fatherly duties by causing his wife to become pregnant. Fatherhood is about providing a child with love, stimulation, protection and security.
Finally, Joseph gave Jesus a religious upbringing. Like any other Jewish father at that time, he would have taken Jesus to the local synagogue, as also to the temple in Jerusalem for the main religious festivals (see Luke 2.41-51). Even more importantly, Joseph would have taught Jesus about God. Whereas today we think of mothers as playing the major role in a child’s religious development, the rabbis laid it down that the most important duty of fathers was instructing their children in the Law. No doubt at Passover time in Jesus’ home the youngest person would have asked “Why is this night different from all other nights?”; and like any other Jewish father, Joseph beginning with Abraham, would have told the story right down to deliverance of Passover. It is not farfetched to suggest that much of what Jesus actually learnt came from Joseph.
Yes, Father Joseph was the real hero of the Christmas story!