My mother

103 years ago my mother, Ruth, was born on 3 June 1922. For this reason I thought it would be appropriate to reflect on her life.

Her parents, John and Ruth Weston, belonged to the Kelly Brethren, one of the more exclusive branches of what was then called the Plymouth Brethren. However, unlike other Kelly Brethren, my grandfather was happy to associate with other Evangelical Christians. My mother had a sheltered but happy upbringing. She was a keen tennis player and enjoyed partying with her many cousins. The Christian faith was very much at the centre of her life. She was baptized as a believer in 1935.

In July 1940 my mother met my father at a Christian holiday centre in North Devon, where my father, George Beasley-Murray, was the leader. Much to my mother’s shock, on the fourth day of the holiday my father told my mother, who had just celebrated her 18^th birthday, that he felt that God would have her marry him! Almost two years later, my father, who by that stage was a Baptist minister in East London, married her, and she therefore became a Baptist minister’s wife. For over 55 years they shared a happy married life together. My mother lived up to the Hebrew meaning of her name: she was a true ‘companion’ to my father.

My mother had four children: I was the eldest and was born on 14 March 1944. Although my mother loved all her children equally, there was a special relationship between my mother and me. Perhaps this was in part because, like my father, I too was (and still am) a Baptist minister. Whenever there were problems with her other three children, she would always confide in me and seek my advice.

One of the memories of my mother when I was a child, is that, whenever I could not sleep at night, she would come into my bedroom and while stroking little circles around my eyes, would always sing ‘Lead kindly Light’ by Cardinal Newman, who before he became a Roman Catholic had been an Anglican minister. The singing and the stroking were hypnotic and by verse three I was always fast asleep. As I look back, I find it amusing that, in spite of my mother having had such a conservative upbringing, she sang a hymn written by a Roman Catholic. I sometimes wonder what my mother’s father would have thought of this!

Although at heart she was a shy person, she always took the initiative and showed friendship to others – not least in the offer of hospitality. One of my memories as a child is that we were always having guests. There were, for instance, student teas in Cambridge. My mother was always making meals. I think of the meals for which she was responsible at the international club at Bloomsbury Baptist Church in the West End; the mid-week chicken suppers in Louisville, Kentucky; and when my father retired and he and my mother moved to Hove on the South Coast, she was making lunches at the ‘Hand of Friendship’ in Holland Road Baptist Church.

My mother was typical of many ministers’ wives of her generation. First and foremost a ‘homemaker’, she saw her role as supporting her husband in ministry – not least by ensuring that their children never interfered with my father’s studies. Once married she never sought paid employment, but was happily involved in the life of my father’s two churches (Ashurst Drive Baptist Church, Ilford, and Zion Baptist Church, Cambridge). She was a good cook and enjoying welcoming guests into her home. When my father became Principal of Spurgeon’s College, my mother started regular meetings in her home for students’ wives and fiancées – ‘soirées’ as they were known.

At that stage my mother began to take on leadership roles in wider denomination roles. She became President of the Baptist Ministers and Missionaries’ Fellowship; and was also elected National President of the Baptist Women’s League and travelled up and down the country addressing groups of women. My mother was also very involved in a ‘moral welfare’ project based in King’s Cross.

Wherever my father’s work as a New Testament teacher took him, my mother was always an active church member – first at Holmesdale Baptist Church, South Norwood in South London; then in the Seminary church at Rüschlikon (a village on the shores of Lake Zurich) and Salemskapelle, the main Baptist church in Zurich; and finally at St Matthew’s Baptist Church in Louisville, Kentucky.

When my mother became 90 we put on a party for her. There I gave a birthday tribute in which I said: “Like a good wine you have gained added depth. Thank God, the words of Pope Paul VI apply to you: ‘The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune’. Or as Brigitte Bardot, the pin-up girl of the 1960s, once said: ‘What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it’.”

My mother’s last years were spent in care and were made difficult by physical pain as well as the loss of her sight. Yet despite all these limitations she always ‘counted her blessings’ and remained cheerful to the end. She passed into her Saviour’s presence on 1 December 2020.